How to Plan and Photograph a Surprise Proposal

If you’ve come across this post, it means one of two things: you’re planning a surprise proposal, or planning to photograph one (who would’ve guessed? šŸ˜)! I’ve photographed a few proposals now and helped the proposer plan the logistics, so let me guide you and give you some tips so planning your proposal will go as smoothly as it can.

I will break this down into two viewpoints: that of the proposer and that of the photographer

ā¤ Choosing a Surprise Proposal Location

Proposer: When choosing a location the obvious first choice is to pick a place that is special to you as a couple. Maybe it’s the restaurant where you went on your first date, or the park where you often go for walks together. For my past clients, they have chosen exactly that – their favorite restaurant, a park they frequent, or the spot where they first met and talked for hours. On some occasions, the place has simply been one that is closest to the secret party they have planned afterwards, or at my own recommendation if they flew here out of state for a trip.

Another aspect to consider is how intimate you want the moment to be. Does it matter to you if people nearby notice and stop & stare and clap afterwards? Does your partner get more shy and would prefer to have it be just you two in your own space? In all cases, the few strangers who are around for the proposal have always been kind and congratulatory so that shouldn’t be a concern. It’s more about how comfortable your partner may feel with the amount of people around at any given time.

Photographer: Choosing a location is generally easy – as long as no special permits are needed, you should be good to go. Just keep in mind the client’s wants and concerns and adjust accordingly.

ā¤ Finding the Perfect Proposal Spot

Proposer: Time allowing, meet up with your photographer a few days in advance to scope out the place and see which spot would provide the best backdrop for your special moment, and ensure that the photographer can capture the shots without issue. Make sure that you and the photographer try out a few different spots, have them take some test shots of you to see which angles you like, etc…

Photographer: Try to meet up with your client a few days ahead of time so that you can find the perfect spot for them to stand and for you to photograph from. If at all possible, try to go around the same time as when the proposal is planned for so that you can get a feel for the best lighting angles and how crowded it could be day-of. Bring your camera and a zoom lens, or an 85mm (which is what I shoot all of my surprise proposals with) – whichever longer focal lengths you have. Walk around the chosen location and take a few test shots of the client. Show them what it looks like at each spot, get their feedback, and adjust accordingly.

ā¤Things to Keep in Mind Before the Big Dayā¤

  • Proposer:
    • What’s the story you’re going to tell your partner? Is it just another dinner at your favorite spot? Is it a fun walk or hike? Are you taking a detour before you go to lunch?
    • If eating at a restaurant, absolutely make reservations to be 100% sure you will have a spot.
    • NOTIFICATIONS!!! If you’re using your phone as a GPS on the day-of, can the photographer safely text you without your partner seeing the text notifications? Is the photographer’s name in your contact list as “Proposal Photographer”? Make sure that they can text you freely without worrying that your partner may read their message notification.
    • What are you going to do to let the photographer know you’re about to propose? The easiest hand signal is a thumbs up šŸ‘ behind your back as you stand side-by-side with your partner. My clients do this most often and their partner never notices.
  • Photographer:
    • Make sure to keep your schedule around the time of the proposal clear if possible – sometimes there are delays since the other partner has no idea they have to be on time for something!
    • Get to the proposal site about a half hour or 20 minutes before so that you can scope out the place and make sure there aren’t any barriers (too many people, an event you didn’t know about, construction, etc…).
    • If the client cannot meet in person beforehand, go to the proposed location and send them a few photos. Once you decide on a spot, drop a pin on the map to exactly where it is so there’s no confusion. Explain exactly where you will be and where they should stand for the best photo opportunity.

ā¤Other Logisticsā¤

Proposer and Photographer:

  • Contingency plan: What will be the alternate location if there’s inclimate weather? What if there’s an event or some other reason why the chosen spot won’t work? Where will you go instead?
    • Example: I planned a surprise proposal at Forest Park in December and we chose a very popular and beautiful spot within the park. It was early in the morning and due to the colder temperatures, we didn’t expect there to be many – if any – people there. I got there earlier and low-and-behold there was a small outdoor wedding happening in the exact spot with almost no one else around. I texted the client to let him know, and we switched to an adjacent location and everything happened without further issue.
  • The approach: Will the photographer be hiding? Or will they be casually walking around in the same area, keeping an eye on you and waiting for your hand signal? Will you ask them to take a picture of you and your partner with your phone, and have them say ” Oh I have my camera with me, let me use that instead” ? The answer to these questions depends on how comfortable you both feel – if you’re nervous about getting the shot just right, it may be best to approach under the guise of taking a quick cellphone picture!

ā¤The Big Day Check Listā¤

Proposer:

āœ” Make sure your notifications are turned off so your photographer can message you freely

āœ” Make sure your partner is wearing an outfit they wouldn’t mind being photographed in

āœ” If you keep your phone in your pockets, keep it in your back pocket in the side furthest from the photographer, that way it doesn’t stick out of your pockets too noticeably and doesn’t affect kneeling

Photographer:

āœ” As always, make sure your batteries are charged, your SD cards are formatted, and you’re recording in RAW to both cards simultaneously

āœ” Give yourself some extra time to get to the proposal spot so that you can get into position and make sure there won’t be any hang-ups at the location

ā¤THE DAY-OFā¤

Proposer: You and the photographer have done your best to plan everything up to this point! Follow through with the plan as described, and update your photographer as needed (such as when you leave, your ETA, and when you arrive if they can’t immediately see you pull in).

Photographer: You and your client have planned everything, now it’s time to execute the plan! After the proposal happens, congratulate your clients and then give them some space to enjoy the moment. Tell them to let you know when they’re ready to finish the shoot, and in the meantime go sit and relax. You did it!

And that, my friends, is how you plan and photograph a surprise proposal! If you have any questions or are looking for a photographer to capture your surprise proposal, fill out my contact form HERE and let’s get to planning!

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As a St. Louis-based portrait photographer, I specialize in capturing the authentic moments of couples and graduates. Serving the greater St. Louis, Missouri area and beyond, my focus is on delivering unique, timeless images that reflect your true personality. Whether you're celebrating a milestone or a special connection, Iā€™m here to ensure your experience is fun, relaxed, and unforgettable.

-Nicole

hi, i'm Nicole